OK all you hares and hounds. The Halloween Hash of '09 needs to enter a story to go into our history books. RE: funniest thing to happen AFTER the Hash is Over!
So yesterday I am returning one of Cheap Trick's jackolanterns (from Beer stop 2) and also retrieving my priestess of the wherethefuckarewe tribe's homing stick. I pull up to CT's house and what do I see - a fire engine. Crap I have to back up and park further away... so I walk up to the house Pumpkin in hand - when CT's landlady comes up to me to let me know that she is not home, she's in class. She proceeds to ask me what the "material" is that is on the sidewalk. You all know this would be the flour used to write the words ON IN. Apparently the rain that fell yesterday - make this stuff turn into some sort of glue. At this time I assure her that it will come up , it is JUST flour. THEN I notice a cameraman/reporter set up in the street in front of CT's house - facing in the direction of the fire engine. I continue talking about the flour with the landlady when this reporter says "is this the white stuff the fire dept. is here to INVESTIGATE?". No shit.
ITE: "what?!".
REPORTER FROM NEWS: we picked up a call over the scanner that someone called in to report some 'mysterious" powder, several inches deep around downtown". "I came out to get the story". He pointed to a few of our dots and asked me again if this was the powder the FD had been called about.
A STUNNED ITE: "it's just flour."
Just then three firemen round the corner from Wall to Georgia, heading straight for CT's House. (an aside - all three very cute!)
ITE: "excuse me, but are you all here to investigate THIS white powder" (I am pointing to one of our spots)
Steve O'Malley, whom I presume is the leader of this investigation, says "why yes". "Do you know something about this"
ITE: "It's just flour from a Hash Run we did last night"
2nd Fireman (did not get his name) "I KNEW IT!"
ITE to FM #2: "Are you a Hasher?"
FM #2: "No, but I have done one." " I figured this is what it was".
Steve O'Malley: "someone was out walking their dog and saw all this powder, he thought maybe someone was putting down poison (for dogs!). He called 9-11 and here we are." (in the capacity of a HAZ MAT team!)
ITE: (laughing) "You are kidding me right?" " It's just flour, Oh THIS IS GOING TO BE SUCH A GREAT STORY, I'll have to post this on our hash site!" (suddenly realizing that the Fire Dept. may not see this waste of their time as humorous)
ITE: "Oh gee, I am so sorry you all had to come out for this, you have much more important things to do"
Steve O'Malley: "no, it's o.k., we were in the area...."
NOTE ABOUT BEND FIREMEN (Cute AND have a good sense of humor)
Steve O'Malley to ITE: "We are going to need your name and phone number for our report".
ITE: (panic stricken, thinking "shit are we going to get a fine for false use of the fire dept - are they working OT now?!") "Um, really, do you want my Hash Name or my real name".
O'Malley: "ah, your real name".
so he takes my name and number, birthdate... then asks "can you verify that this substance is flour"
ITE: now very serious. "Yes". " I think it is the Fred Meyer brand"
O'Malley: "Bleached or unbleached".
ITE: "Um, not sure".
ITE: "It is flour, I mean you can look in my car IT IS ALL OVER ThE INSIDE. We were running late marking the trail (more info than he wanted I am sure) so we just started making the marks from the car".
O'Malley: (smirking) " you mean the same flour that is all over your shirt and face?"
I look down and sure enough - all over my shirt. It was all over my seat belt....
ITE: "yes, the same flour".
The firemen are satisfied that the powder is neither poison nor anthrax.
The Firemen leave and all is well. I still have to spend some time convincing CT's landlady that the stuff will come off the sidewalk.
SO I think we should look up what firehouse Steve O'Malley works in and MAKE SURE TO CALL THEM and let them know before our next hash run.
for the books the story about the
HAZ MAT HALLOWEEN HASH AND CT BIRTHDAY BASH OF 2009! AND who doubted that two virgins (coached by AD) would not be able to deliver a truly memorable HASH?! We just raised the bar! : ) ON ON!
